The 40s is a time of major transition in our lives, a time of many new challenges and changes.
To reduce the anxiety associated with these changes, here are some habits and ways of thinking that you should review.
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1. Stop “negative self-talk”
Self-denial, negative thinking.
Stop talking negatively about yourself and continuing an internal dialogue that is full of self-criticism.
Internal dialogue means talking to yourself, asking yourself questions.
Why you should stop:
- Negative self-criticism significantly lowers your self-confidence and prevents you from taking positive action.
- Negative self-dialogue increases stress and robs you of mental health.
- It worsens our relationship with ourselves and decreases our self-esteem.
- Negative thoughts inhibit creativity and productivity and stifle one’s own potential.
Improvements:
- When negative thoughts come to mind, practice observing them objectively and switching to a positive perspective.
- Practice speaking positively. The words you put out directly affect your inner life.
- Consciously rephrase negative words into positive ones.
Example: “˜I can’t do it’ → “I will try! - When you make mistakes or failures, see them as opportunities for growth and encourage yourself.
- Avoid negative people, or be warm and protective of them.
- Do not speak negatively, and actively engage with positive people.
- Keep a gratitude journal and output small daily good things and successes. Before bed is recommended.
- If self-criticism does not stop, consider seeking professional support.
2. Stop “ignoring your feelings”
Stop putting your feelings and what you want to do on the back burner and trying to meet other people’s expectations.
Why you should stop:
- Continuously ignoring your feelings undermines your sense of self-respect (the feeling of being able to accept and value yourself as you are and like yourself) in the long run.
- By forcing yourself to put others first, you risk burnout.
Improvements:
- At the end of the day, take time to reflect on your feelings and experiences. Journal, blog, social network, etc.
- Understand the importance of saying “no” and taking care of yourself.
- Be kind to yourself and incorporate self-care into your daily life.
- Be with people who can honestly express their feelings.
3. Stop “dwelling on past mistakes”
Stop dwelling on your past failures and feeling regret all the time.
Why you should stop:
- If you get too caught up in past failures, you will not be able to take on new challenges.
- Think of failure as an opportunity to learn and a valuable experience that is essential for growth. Failure is the source of success. Life is a constant series of failures.
- Moving forward paves the way to confidence and success.
Improvements:
- Get encouragement from trusted friends and family.
- Make a plan to avoid repeating the same mistakes. We often learn from our mistakes.
- Practice developing self-compassion.
- Break goals down into smaller, achievable steps and complete them one at a time.
- Record your feelings and progress in a journal. It allows you to look objectively at past failures.
4. Stop “comparing yourself to others”
Stop comparing your situation to the success and happiness of others.
In today’s society, TV, Youtube, social networking sites (Instagram, X, Tiktok, Facebook, etc.) have become tools to compare yourself with others.
Why you should stop:
- Comparing yourself with others lowers your self-esteem and causes unnecessary stress.
- Social networking sites tend to focus only on the good things. It is not all about real life.
- You should devote your time and energy to your own personal growth, not to others.
- Comparison with others robs you of happiness and reduces your motivation to achieve your goals.
- Life moves at its own pace, and comparisons with others are meaningless.
Improvements:
- Spend less time on social networking sites and more time on real relationships.
- Delete social networking apps altogether. You will have a lot more useful time at once.
- I am myself. Others are others. Think “I am myself and others are others.
- Keep a journal to record your small successes and happy moments.
- Set your own personal goals and work toward them one step at a time.
- Make a habit of praising yourself to enhance your self-esteem.
- When you have time, take time to explore your own hobbies and interests. (Do not use social networking sites.)
5. Stop “being a perfectionist”
Stop striving for perfection in all things.
Why you should stop:
- Perfection is an unattainable goal and will always leave you unsatisfied.
- It increases stress and frustration and negatively affects mental health.
- Perfectionism increases pressure and inhibits creativity.
- Losing opportunities to learn from small mistakes and missing opportunities for growth.
- It also affects relationships, and people tend to set high standards for both themselves and others.
Improvements:
- Develop a “progress over perfection” mindset.
- Be kind to yourself and be willing to recognize even small accomplishments.
- Embrace failure as a part of growth and an opportunity to learn from it.
- Be mindful to have realistic expectations not only for yourself, but also for others.
- Deepen self-acceptance through daily meditation and mindfulness practice.
6. Stop “too much information input”
Stop gathering excessive information when you feel anxious.
Again, TV, Youtube, SNS, etc. are typical examples.
Why you should stop:
- Information overload can increase anxiety and cloud judgment.
- By trying to get more information than you need, you will spend more time on things that are not really important.
- Getting caught up in the quantity rather than the quality of information can lead to misunderstanding and confusion.
- Excessive information intake can cause fatigue, both energetic and divine, and lead to a loss of concentration.
- Being bombarded with information weakens one’s ability to trust one’s own senses and intuition.
Improvements:
- Limit the amount of time you consume information in a day and focus on specific times of the day. (No more lounging around on TV, Youtube, social networking sites)
- Access quality information by narrowing down to carefully selected, reliable sources.
- After obtaining information, calmly consider how it will benefit your life and decisions.
- Check social networking sites and news less frequently and spend more time on real interpersonal relationships and hobbies.
- When you feel anxious, deal with it in other ways, such as relaxation or exercise, instead of gathering information.
7. Stop being “driven by assumptions”
Stop making negative assumptions about yourself, such as “It’s too late to start something new in your 40s.
Why you should stop:
- Assumptions can limit your potential and cause you to miss out on new opportunities.
- Self-limiting beliefs deny opportunities for personal growth.
- Regardless of age, learning and growth are important elements that enrich our lives!
Improvements:
- Try a new hobby or learn a new skill. It is never too late to start.
- Research success stories and draw inspiration from people your age who have achieved success.
- Incorporate self-affirming meditations and affirmations into your daily routine.
- Build trust in yourself by accumulating small successes.
- Find mentors and role models and learn from their experiences.
8. Stop “worrying too much about the future”
Stop “worrying so much about all the possibilities of the future that you forget to enjoy the present.
Why you should stop:
- Worrying excessively diminishes present happiness and increases stress and anxiety.
- It is important to focus on what you can do in the present, rather than focusing on “what might happen in the future.
- Uncertainty will always exist, but it is important to embrace it and develop the ability to be flexible.
Improvements:
- Practice mindfulness and meditation to ease anxiety by focusing on the present moment.
- Make plans for the future, but try not to get too attached to them.
- Set small goals and achieve them to build confidence and reduce anxiety about the future.
- Find things to be thankful for in daily life and develop a positive attitude.
- If anxiety is strong, consider seeking counseling or therapy.
Summary
Women in their 40s can find hope for the future by facing their fears in an appropriate way, believing in themselves, and taking action.
Life is still long. Let’s not give up and keep taking action!
Have a good life!
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